Feedback Thoughts

Feedback is a very important factor in order to improve ourselves. However, giving and getting feedback may be hard for some people to do. For me, getting feedback is my weakness. After reading two articles, "Silence the Critical Voices in Your Head" by Sabina Nawaz and "Why Rejection Hurts So Much - And What to Do About It" by Guy Winch, I learned a little more on how to deal with receiving negative feedback. In Sabina Nawaz's article, she suggests about focusing on the positive feedback and magnifying and believing in it to overpower any negative ones. In Guy Winch's article, he discusses on the tendency to feel rejected at feedback. No matter what we do, many people tend to focus on small negative comments whether they came from other people or came from our own minds. If we force ourselves to hear out positives instead, we'll be able to focus on improving as well. In terms of giving feedback, the two articles I read over that are: "7 Key Characteristics of Better Learning Feedback" by Grant Wiggins and Try Feedforward Instead of Feedback" by Marshall Goldsmith. In Grant Wiggin's article, he discusses and expands his seven characteristics of good feedback to help improvement. The most important one, in my opinion, is that it must be "actionable," meaning that the feedback must have a specific, manageable points for improvement. It cannot be "good job!" or "you did that wrong" because those do not provide any helpful information at all. In terms of usefulness, Marshall Godlsmith's article is my favorite. He talks about the benefits of giving feedforward instead of feedback. By giving feedfoward advice, you do not criticize a person for what they have done; rather, you talk to the person about what they could do in the future, eliciting better, more positive reactions and more effective results.

Feedback

Week 2 Storytelling: Shurpanaka's One-Sided Love

It’s not easy being being part of a rakshasa family. Shurpanaka knew this all too well. As the youngest in her family, she faced ridicule from both her family members and strangers. She wasn’t as mean, as maniacal, or as menacing as her older brother Ravana or any other rakshasa for that matter. She had a soft spot for humans. She loved the way they dressed, how they cared for one another, and what they created with their brilliant minds. Shurapanaka never desired to harm any of them. Of course, the humans never felt the same admiration for her. To them, she was a stereotypical hideous demon with an evil heart and an ugly soul. To her family, she was a simply a disgrace. While her brother became the King of Lanka and of rakshasas, Shurpanaka stayed home longing for love from a human boy ever since she was a child.

After years of not seeing any of her family members for many years, Shurpanaka happily relaxed in her quiet hermitage in deep in the Chitrakut forest, far away from any of her life troubles. As she went to go forage, Shurpanaka heard rustling and voices in the distance. So she went to go investigate. After all, who would come to the depths of such a dangerous forest? Once Shurpanaka found the source of the noise, her breath was taken away. Three human beings were walking just a few meters in front of her, but one of them stuck out to her like a diamond in the rough. Shurpanaka was immediately infatuated with this human boy, she would later find out was named Rama. She became self-conscious about her appearance. Suddenly, Shurpanaka flashbacked to her first love…

            She never knew his name, but all she knew was that she was in love with him. Every day, this young human boy would come by to pick berries from a bush near her home. Little Shurpanaka snuck out, away from her family, to go watch the boy from afar. One day, she mustered up enough courage to show and introduce herself to her first love. Timidly, little Shurpanaka came up from behind the trees and whispered a shy “hello” as the boy was picking berries. His reaction was not what she expected nor anything she’d ever want to experience again. When the young boy turned around, he screamed and ran away in terror at her hideous appearance and her harsh voice. Little did she know, the human boy would run back and tell his village of a rakshasa sighting, which will send hunters to storm into Shurpanaka’s family household. Luckily for the rakshasas, they all escaped fairly unscathed, but her furious mother banished Shurpanaka immediately to live in the forest as punishment. Even so, Shurpanaka still could not hate the human race, but she made a vow to never let herself be shamed or rejected ever again.

            Shaking herself out of her flashback, Shurpanaka took a deep breath and shape-shifted herself into a young, beautiful woman to impress Rama. Boldly, Shurpanaka strolled gracefully over to the three humans and introduced herself. The handsome Rama, unfortunately, was spoken for by the stunning Sita. However, refusing to be rejected, Shurpanaka attempted to seduce Rama and convince him to leave his wife for a wonderful life with her. Rama disagrees but jokingly sends her off to seduce Lakshamana who also rejects her. Filled with anger, Shurpanaka tries to attack Sita, only to have her nose and ears mutilated by Lakshamana. At this moment, something changed within Shurpanaka. She no longer cared for human beings. They were pesky and disrespectful whether she was beautiful or ugly. The rakshasa part of her soul triggered from the excessive embarrassment and rejection caused by these humans. From then on, Shurpanaka vowed to torture them by tormenting Sita, who she believed to be the cause of her problems.

Shurpanaka went back to her family for help, requesting her brothers Khara, Dushana, and thousands of rakshasas to capture the three pesky, disrespectful humans. Despite their numbers, Rama and Lakshamana defeat all of them with ease. Shurpanaka then turns to her last resort: Ravana, her powerful, rakshasas king brother. Barging into his palace unannounced, she begs him to avenge her and steal Sita away for himself. Glad to have his sister back in his life after so many years, Ravana proudly accepted her request and went to conjure a master plan. Shurpanaka smiled maniacally and simply waited for Ravana to return with Sita.

Surpanaka, Rama, Sita, & Lakshamana

Author's Note: This story was inspired by Part B of the PDE Ramayana where the plot thickens due to an encounter with the rakshasi Shurpanaka. I wanted to elaborate on Shurpanaka's backstory and lead up to the time period of Rama. I felt as though Shurpanaka was misunderstood demon, which is why I decided to make her out to be a lovesick, insecure rakshasi who had a fascination with humans and simply wanted to be loved. My decision was influenced by her placement in a "quiet hermitage" away from other rakshasas and how she instantly fell in love with Rama at first sight. By having her be rejected in her flashback, a motive of revenge could be created in the present time as a result of Shurpanaka not wanting to feel the way she felt in the past.

Bibliography: Public Domain Edition Ramayana

Reading Notes: Ramayana (Part B)

The plot of Part B started with Bharata’s returning to Ayodhya to find out his father’s death, mother’s betrayal, and brother’s exile. After conducting his father’s funeral, he went into the jungle to find Rama and have him un-exiled to take throne again, but Rama stubbornly declined because he wanted to fulfill his deceased father’s wishes. As he, Sita, and Lakshamana continue their exile, they face more rakshasas, defeating all of them. Shurpanakha, Ravana’s sister, falls in love with Rama and transforms her deformed figure to a beautiful woman in order to seduce Rama. However, Rama remains faithful to his wife, and jokingly tells her to go seduce Lakshamana instead. Enraged with rejection, she gathers her brothers (not Ravana) and 14,000 rakshasas kill them all. They all get defeated by Rama. Shurpanakha is mutilated, returning to her king brother, Ravana, with a request to take Sita away from Rama. Ravana takes Sita back to his kingdom by having Maricha form as a golden deer to distract Rama and Lakshamana. Jatayu, a vulture king, attempts to save Sita, but is killed in the process, and later tells the royal brothers that they must find Sugriva, a gorilla king, in order to fight Ravana. Along the way, they find Shabari, who has been waiting for their arrival for years.

            As I read this part, I thought it was interesting that there were many gandharva who were cursed to become rakshasas and Shabari’s destiny to wait in a hermitage until the arrival of Rama. I also found the development of my findings in Part A to Part B interesting. For instance, the fatal flaw of needing to please leads Rama into another predicament: trying to get the “golden deer” for his wife despite any warnings. The curses and destiny for people to meet Rama also calls for a pre-planned destiny from the gods.

Here are a few possibilities of what I could write about:

• Like in my reading note for Part A, I like the idea of a story about the gods trying to come up with details in Rama's life.
• Entries from Shabari's diary awaiting Rama.
• Sita's thoughts on constantly being the damsel in distress.
• A flasback to Shurpanakha's childhood and being rejected by everyone, which leads to the present where Rama rejects her.
• Bharata's mindset when he came back home and how to get his brother back.

Rama Chasing the Golden Deer for Sita

Bibliography: Public Domain Edition Ramayana