Roger, a
five-year old boy, walked home from the school bus with his head filled with so
many questions he couldn’t understand.
Why did everyone think he was so different?
Did he do something wrong?
Was his mother disappointed he didn’t look
like her?
(And
most importantly…) Where do babies come
from?
Walking through the door, his mother greeted him with open arms. Roger fell into his mother’s embrace, but she instantly knew something was wrong. After all, mothers always seem to know these kinds of things. “What’s wrong, honey?” his mother asked.
Roger
simply shook his head because he didn’t know where to start. He was also scared
he might say something that would offend his mother anyway. However, his mother didn’t take no
for an answer. She simply grabbed his backpack from him, set it on the floor, and
took his hand. “Let’s go get ice cream.” She said. The boy followed with mixed
emotions. Both mother and son went to the car and drove in silence with the car
radio playing at a low level.
After they arrived at Baskin Robins
and Roger got his favorite – Rainbow Sherbet, mother and son sat down at a
table. “So…” Roger’s mother started, “Are you going to tell your mother what’s
on your mind?”
Roger held his breath for a moment and suddenly blurted anything and everything that was on his mind from “Why is the sky blue?” to “Why don’t I look like you?”. At that last question, Roger’s voice lowered to a whisper. “Jamie and Carly said they look like their moms…”
Roger’s
mother knew this day would come. She thought she’d be more prepared for this
conversation, but she never knew she would have to talk about it so soon. Her
mind instantly raced to remember what were on those darn pamphlets five years ago. “Well…” she
began, “you see, Roger…. You look different because you’re a boy!” Roger’s
mother freaked out because she had looked into his big sad brown eyes and tried to get out of the
conversation. If she had this conversation, she thought it would change their
relationship forever. Maybe he won’t love
me. She thought. Maybe he’ll try to
find his birth mother and leave me forever.
Meanwhile,
Roger was confused. Yes, he knew that he was a boy, and boys looked
different from girls but that’s not what he was talking about. “No, mom. Look!”
Roger held out his arm to his mother. “Our color is different. All my friends
said they look like their moms and dads. But. I don’t…”
Roger’s
mother took a deep breath. She had to address the elephant in the room. She had
to put all her worries and fears to the side. This was her son. Nothing was
ever going to change that. “Roger… I am not your real mom---“
“WAIT. DID
YOU STEAL ME?!?!” Roger interrupted. His mother immediately covered his mouth
with her hand.
"SHHHHHH!" She exclaimed, but she couldn’t
help but laugh internally looking at the fear and surprise in her adopted son’s
eyes. They were getting so many stares from the other people in the ice cream shop. “Roger, no. I did not steal you. I adopted you when you were a baby.” When
she saw some realization in Roger’s eyes, his mother slowly took her hand away.
When he said nothing, she said, “She
loved you, Roger. Your real mom did. She just couldn’t take care of you so she
had to give you away. I… I couldn’t have a baby so I went to these really nice
people who introduced me to your birth mother. She gave you to me when you were
just a baby, and I have loved and cared for you ever since.”
Still, Roger said nothing.
Everything was spinning around in his head. Was everything he knew a lie?
“Roger, you have to understand. We
both love you. One day, if you want to meet her, I can try to get in contact
with her.” Tears immediately filled in his mother’s eyes. It pained his
adoptive mother to say this because she feared his birth mother would take him back.
Roger looked up and saw his mother’s
sadness. He looked at his arm, then at her. Then, he placed his hand on hers. “Mom,”
he said, “don’t cry. I’m sorry I made you cry. I love you.” Roger’s mother didn’t
understand what she did to deserve her son. She immediately got out of her chair
to hug him.
While trying to keep her tears in
check, she said, “I love you too, Roger. I know you still don’t really understand, but
all you need to know is: Even though I did not give birth to you, I still love
you with all of my heart just like if I did.”
Roger hugged his mother to comfort her. He promised that he will always take care of his mother when he gets
big and strong. He accepted the fact that he looked different, and that his
mother would always be the woman hugging him right there in the ice cream shop. But... Roger had one last
question that was bugging him.
“What’s your question?” Roger’s
mother asked as she released her son from a hug.
Roger looked at his mother
quizzically and said, “Where do babies come from?”
His mother simply laughed. “Okay,
Roger. That’s a different conversation for another day.” And so she dropped the
conversation like that. If she felt like she wasn’t ready for the adoption talk, she was definitely
not ready for the talk.
Roger still didn't understand his mother's behaviors that evening, but he figured that one day he will and shrugged it off. So Roger returned to his normal spirited self and began telling his mother all the exciting kindergarten adventures that happened that day while messily eating his Rainbow Sherbet.
 |
| The Elephant in the Room |
Author’s Note:
This story
was inspired by Ellen Babbitt’s story “Granny & Blackie,” which was about a
woman who was given a baby elephant named Blackie from a rich man and who cared
for the elephant even in her old age; Blackie loved Granny so much that when he
got older, he decided that he would start working so that Granny didn’t have
to. The whole story reminded me of adoption, and the name of my story was a
play on words in a sense – “The Elephant” to acknowledge Blackie, and the
phrase “The Elephant in the Room” to acknowledge the topic of adoption. I also wanted some elements of this story to be vague (such as the ethnicity of Roger and his mother, if Roger had an adoptive father, and if Roger's mother was single) so that the reader can fill in the blank for themselves in whatever frame of reference they best relate to.
I really enjoyed writing Roger and
his mother’s interaction. I felt like it came relatively naturally despite the
fact that I, myself, am not adopted nor have an adopted relative. However, I
did have a Chinese friend in middle school who was adopted as a baby by a nice Caucasian
family. They loved her wholeheartedly and made her feel at home despite their
skin color difference. Like Roger, my friend always wondered why she looked so different from her parents and older sister, and asked her parents about her adoption at a young age. Unlike Roger, my friend had a closed adoption so
she could not meet her birth mother even if she wanted to, and she always
thought that her birth mother did not loved her since she gave her away. Despite
everything and after their emotional talk, my friend ended up loving her
adoptive parents more than she thought was possible.
So as a final note, this story is dedicated to my dear friend who addressed the elephant in the room only to find out that she was more loved than she could ever imagine.
