Hi Julie! Wow, what an awesome story you have developed! I really like the image used on the cover page, and the style used on the introduction page! It really captivated my attention, and the storyline you have provided is such a great introduction to the creation of Rama! It's really cool how you incorporated the beginnings of Ravana, because I don't think we really get to read much about him and his past in the book. However, I also noticed that you incorporated the line in which Brahma scoffed about not being the creator of destruction. This would be Shiva, and you have put him on the council! I wonder if you could somehow incorporate him in this discussion so that if someone does question "Well, why didn't Shiva just destroy Ravana" that there's an answer! This would be a great way to also show that the Vishnu is full of power, more than the council, and that the human avatar was only the valid solution to the problem! I am vert excited to read what all you come up with, and to see your storybook project develop. This is definitely going to be great! Good job!!!!
I like how I can feel what you are saying. Your use of italics and punctuation really travels across the page and allows the reader to understand exactly what you, the writer, is trying to portray! I think that your introduction has a lot of characters in it. It sounds like your introduction has a lot of anger in it. It would be refreshing to see that there is some resolution or softness to some of your stories. Just a thought. Your introduction was a little short. You also used a lot of quotations. A way to revise this would be to take out some of the quotations and paraphrase so you can still get the information out. What if you tried separate the paragraphs a little more? Just from looking at it it looks a little busy. I think that if you separated the paragraphs and made them smaller then it would be easier to read.
Hey Julie! The direction you chose to take your storybook is really interesting. I like the fact that the introduction lets the reader know exactly why the character Rama was created by the God Vishnu. The picture you decided to use on the home page is the stereotypical blue print design which follows the whole theme of your project perfectly. I'm sure you did this on purpose and it was genius. The only thing I would change about your storybook would be to add a little more color. The webpage seems a little plain for being the blueprint of Rama. An idea you could incorporate into your storybook is to work on your webpage each week and with each new post you make, you build your site a little more. So by the end of the semester you would have a flawless webpage that's colorful and engaging to the audience. It would be cool to see your storybook build with each passing week.
Hi Julie, great job so far. I am not experienced enough at writing, as of yet, to be able to put my finger on the reason why, but some people just write in a very smooth way. You seem to be one of those people.
Not sure if the myths overlap in the way you describe them but, I sure hope that they do. I like the way you break-down the story to something basic and simple. Making this material easy is not easy.
I like how you anthropomorphize the god Indra by having mutter under his breath and think about something before he speaks. I could easily picture the scene in my mind.
Something I noticed in another story, what if you break outside the confines of the story and take the story in a totally different direction? I have been playing with that idea and found it makes it easier to be creative about my next step.
Finally, your ending was great. It left enough to the imagination to keep me coming back and told enough story to make me want to come back.
Hi Julie! Your introduction was put together really well. It was easy to follow and entertaining. The introduction was very interesting to read. I wanted to read more of your story. I also loved the design of your storybook and I liked the picture you used. It really helped complete the design. Vishnu seems like an all powerful character. It would be interesting to see him have a weakness. Might be a big plot twist. I do like that your story is similar to the original. That makes your intro much easier to follow and understand. However I thought there were too many quotations as well. Made the intro a bit choppy instead of fluid. I would also like to see your intro split into smaller and more concise paragraphs. Overall I think you did you did a great job with your intro and I look forward to reading your stories this semester.
Julie, first things first your website for your storybook is beautifully organized! The colors are great and the flow between pages is very nice. Your introduction flowed well and the writing was clear. I liked your descriptions of the characters that will be present throughout your storybook. One thing I was unsure about was the three periods in your second paragraph, I know they were included for dramatic affect. Sometimes using three periods like that in a story is viewed as informal which is fine, I just did not know if you were aiming for a more formal writing style! Overall your introduction was great at setting the scene for your stories to come this semester.
The introduction is enticing and grabbed my attention right from the beginning. I think you captured the frustration of the gods well, but if you wanted to expand their arguing you could. Since this is your introduction I do not think it is necessary to do so. It has the right amount of intrigue to make me want to read more. Good job! Is it possible to make the image of Rama larger to line up with the complete length of the introduction? It is placed at the bottom of the introduction, but might look better enlarged or centered if possible. I enjoy the flow of your site. I think the blueprint wallpaper is a stellar touch. I think the spacing is off on the very last paragraph when you begin with “As the council” and should be spaced down one line. Outside of those little things, I think the introduction is great and look forward to reading the rest of your storybook!
Color balance with the background of your site is quite attractive, and your use of comedic timing adds character to the story, making your exposition very compelling, especially in regards to Vishnu's larger-than-life demeanor and the displeasure of Brahma among the gods.
Consider splitting up and/or rewriting some aspects of the first two paragraphs, and making a more distinct split between the last two. It will help with making the details of the plot more easily consumable. Also go over your parentheses, as the places they are used can also be rectified with semicolons or commas, so as not to draw attention to structure itself, unless that is part of your plan.
I was left wondering what that previous experience with a demon and Vishnu had to do with the conflict of this story, and was left wanting some background details as to how Vishnu defeated the demon. This could help make a smooth bridge into Indra's inquiry on how Vishnu would go about defeating Ravana and make the story flow even better.
Overall, I'm enjoying your work here, so far. There's great character in your introduction and you've teased my imagination on how this blueprint approach works. Some minor touch-up here and there, and it'll be perfect. Excellent work, here.
First of all, I really like the layout of your site! It's pretty fancy and probably the most aesthetic one I've seen in both classes :). The colors are nice, too. I did notice that you have more sections on your page, but I don't see them listed by the introduction at the top. If I scroll over the blank area by introduction, "the little details" and "author" do show up. Just wanted to tell you in case that was a mistake!
I really liked the introduction! It caught my interest and I enjoyed this line: "...it seems that age does not always spark wisdom". I think it contributes to to Brahma really well and it is pretty applicable to real life, as well. I'd like to know more about Ravana based off what you've told us! I'm curious about how powerful he is, considering his feats and how destructive he's been to make others get involved with dealing with him. I'm excited to see what kind of person Rama is and what journey he goes on!
Wow I love what you have done with your storybook! What a creative idea. I like the design of your blog as well, but I would suggest that you make links to your stories in the top bar of your webpage so it is less confusing. I had a hard time finding your first story until I scrolled all the way down. You do a really fantastic job setting up your introduction. It really captured my attention and you did a wonderful job keeping the names of the gods straight and incorporating their names into the story. Maybe you could add in a sort of index for the readers to keep all of the names straight if you want to edit some more. I also really enjoyed reading your first story. Your style of writing is really easy to follow and entertaining. Your story reminded me a little bit of Hercules and how it is set up with the sassy ladies narrating what the gods are always doing.
Hi Julie! I really enjoyed your first story, you made it very easy to read due to the narration and the comical dialogue. This story is very imaginative, for me it is hard to just make up dialogue but you did it perfectly. This definitely gives the reader a different perspective on the story. My favorite part was, "“Okay, Vishnu!” Indra interrupted. “You will be born as Rama, son of Dasharatha and Kaushalya.”
Vishnu pondered for a moment. “Ooh, one last thing! Can we make my skin blue again for this avatar too? It’s a very fitting color, and I could wield a bow! I’d look like one of those James Cameron blue people—" These dialogue sections are great. They really give the reader a picture of how the character behaves and interact with other characters. Definitely make sure to include this type of dialogue in the next additions. Overall I really enjoyed this story, keep it up!
Hi, Julie!! Your Storybook is awesome! I really like how you are making a new and creative story out of the traditional elements and characters. It's cool to see how you are using the terms and traditions that we've learned in this course in your story. This really feels and reads like something that would have been included in one of our reading options. I also really like the different pictures and background that you used. I really can't think of any editing tips for you, everything was spot on. Again, great story- and I look forward to keeping up with your storybook!!
Hey Julie, I'm a really big fan of your storybook. I could just keep reading it all day! I think you have done a terrific job of taking what you have learned in this course and using that to create your own story. It is almost like I am reading something that we would have been assigned. What most impressed me is the way you were able to create such interesting dialogue to go with your story. It is not easy to do, but you were able to use your imagination and create a very cool story!
Firstly, I'd like to say that I liked how you were able to align your website with the storybook. As an audience, you can really get the idea that the Hindu gods will be restructuring and building up the life of Rama. I was expecting anything to happen, for blue prints can change at any moment based on the creator or architect. I really like how you split your story into chapters and provided a very detailed introduction. The introduction really gave the reader the opportunity to conceptualize the possible framework of the blueprints that are being drawn out. Chapter 1 was very entertaining. It was almost as though the council of gods were playing a board game or card game. I like the comical aspects that you added. I like how you are approaching the stories and are turning them into parodies. I'm really looking forward to the next story post for Chapter 2.
I really enjoyed reading your stories. I liked how all the Gods had to figure out how to stop Ravana, The description of the thought process of the Gods was super interesting. You do not get to see that side of them in some of the original stories. The details you add give them human characteristics and they are more relatable to the reader. The intro helped give the reader details on how the Gods start coming up with blueprints for Rama. This helped set the tone for the next story. With all the details of the blueprints Rama was ready to be created. I enjoyed how much fun Vishnu was having designing his future host. He wanted everything to be perfect. He even chose details of hair and skin color. I enjoyed this backstory for Rama. Overall this was a very good story and was a good read. Great job!
I like how jump in and just simplify the process of being an avatar of Vishnu. Wait a minute, we now have a council meeting that we will hold on how to manipulate humanity. I am enjoying the laid back speech of the Gods as they discuss how to go about picking a person to have the chosen child. It was also fun to imagine Vishnu getting excited about what his name will be. Oh that is hilarious making the reference to James Cameron. I have heard that Hanuman is the avatar of Shiva. What if the two of them were old friends and sharing past experiences they had on earth together or perhaps they are not getting along as well as they used to but still have each other’s back? He seemed to have a powerful and interesting role. Also, he didn’t seem to follow along with the plan in the Rama story. Almost like he had the authority to do something contrary to what many would have done in that situation.
What if you wrote out a little blurb on your comment wall? I don’t know if this was just me but I was unable to read a lot of the words on the left side of the page of your intro for some reason? Wow, I love how your intro talks about how Rama was designed by the gods to defeat Ravana. I also really enjoyed the gods bickering because of the boon that Brahma granted Ravana and how he didn’t think it was a big deal. The storyline is very interesting to me. I never imagined all the gods sitting around trying to figure out what to do with Ravana. I really like it though! One thing I noticed was in Little Details in the first paragraph the gods are deciding the fate of Rama. However, a couple of paragraphs later Vishnu asks if his name can be Rama? The personality you gave Vishnu is kind of humorous since he is not much like the calm and composed Rama character we know. Overall great story!
Wow, I love the setup of your storybook. It’s super easy to follow, and it looks very professional! My favorite part of your stories is how there’s dialogue, but also an explanation either before or after someone speaks. I feel like you balanced out internal thoughts with the actual events very well. I did wonder a bit about where your introduction was even thought I did love the setup of the storybook. What if you had the introduction as a separate tab on your homepage? I really enjoyed reading your stories, and how it was broken into chapters. That was intricate element about your entire storybook, and stories! You did a really great job in taking what you learned, and putting your own little uniqueness on it! Great work! I look forward to reading more of your storybook in the future. This was one of the best storybooks I have encountered.
I absolutely love your storybook! I like how you really took to the theme of your title with the blueprint and incorporated that with the visuals of your storybook. Your introduction was also really good and I like how you set the tone for the upcoming stories. Even though I know that your storybook highlights the story of Rama, it was nice to see the recreation of the original story in your own way. I like how you incorporated dialogue into the story and brought a unique personality to each of the characters. While I understand the approach you are taking with your storybook, it would be interesting to see the inspiration behind writing the story in the Author's Note. Overall, however, I think you did a great job and I'm excited to read your next couple of stories!
The idea of gods and other celestial beings coexisting as mortal avatars among regular human beings has definitely been the most intriguing part of the Indian epics to me so far, so I love how your storybook focuses on a peek behind the curtain at all of that. The way you depict these gods is a ton of fun, too: I love how you’ve given all of them colorful personalities that clash just enough to keep things interesting.
Moving on to the stories themselves, your parody approach made me laugh out loud more than once (especially when Vishnu was cherry-picking flattering qualities for himself in Rama), and the personalities you gave the gods worked perfectly for that. I’m also a huge fan of how you’ve interpreted the process of planning Vishnu’s avatar and the story of Rama’s life, like a bunch of executives and creative types putting their heads together to develop and shoot a movie. Vishnu’s insistence on getting to play the perfect knight in shining armor fits so perfectly with how tediously perfect Rama ends up being, too, haha.
Insanely awesome job with this. I look forward to checking back in for future chapters!
Wow! First off I love the layout of your blog. It fits perfectly into your blueprint title. I really like how in your introduction you add a bit of sass about how the other gods wish Brahma would stop granting boons to rakshasas! It was a fun little element that really added a strong voice to the story. I was so happy to see this fun voice continue into your other stories. I loved the personalities you gave the gods. I always saw them serious types, but the humor you put in this made me change my tune. I much prefer your version of the Gods.
Overall, I really enjoyed the theme to your storybook. The idea of Rama's life being predestined or planned is something that I feel fits right into the original Indian epics. Within you stories you did a good job of incorporating dialogue into your stories! It really added a bigger personality to your characters and helped the story flow!
Really great job and I can't wait to check back in to read more!
I loved the continuation of your storybook, especially how you literally took off from the end of the introduction into "The Little Details" story. I honestly love how the various Gods of the council are so casual. You make them seem very relatable and add that modern-esque aspect to the story. I also really like how you make Vishnu sound like that sassy, fun character. The way I see this story, it sounds like a "Create-Your-Own-Story" tale because of the Council and how they are essentially constructing the future of Rama, Sita, and Lakshmana. I like how you really bring in that personal element to your story so that the readers are able to connect to the characters. The dialogue is especially good. Keep up the awesome work! I'm excited to read the rest!
Hey Julie! I had to come back to read more of your stories because your storybook is seriously so cool! So, just a little side note for this story, there is actually an Indian movie called Hum Saath Saath Hain that is very similar to the Ramayana. It doesn't really have anything to do with the actual characters but it kinda follows the plot of Kaikeyi being poisoned by Manthara to force Dasharatha into exiling Rama. It is of different characters and the story follows one of a family but if you liked this story, I think you would enjoy that movie! I like how you go into details for the various subplots that take place in the Ramayana, because I'm sure that must have taken some serious work to create. I think it really brings to life the idea of the blueprint because everything is being planned even before Vishnu is reincarnated.
Hey, Julie! It's been about a month since I last read your storybook. I can honestly say that I think it's gotten even better! This is definitely one of the coolest storybooks in the class! Your portrayal of the Gods is just really awesome, i love how you were able to do that. I saw a previous comment that said this is like a "Create-Your-Own-Story" tale, and I would have to agree with that. That is such a unique and awesome aspect of your storybook. With the God's creating the story, it makes it that much more readable for this whole class. It is always a join to read a story involving Rama, Sita, and others from the Ramayana. Everybody has their own ways of incorporating them into their stories. Your story was a great example of what I just mentioned. The way you were to portray Rama was fantastic, as you really creating something new and unique that worked well!
Hi Julie!
ReplyDeleteWow, what an awesome story you have developed! I really like the image used on the cover page, and the style used on the introduction page! It really captivated my attention, and the storyline you have provided is such a great introduction to the creation of Rama! It's really cool how you incorporated the beginnings of Ravana, because I don't think we really get to read much about him and his past in the book. However, I also noticed that you incorporated the line in which Brahma scoffed about not being the creator of destruction. This would be Shiva, and you have put him on the council! I wonder if you could somehow incorporate him in this discussion so that if someone does question "Well, why didn't Shiva just destroy Ravana" that there's an answer! This would be a great way to also show that the Vishnu is full of power, more than the council, and that the human avatar was only the valid solution to the problem! I am vert excited to read what all you come up with, and to see your storybook project develop. This is definitely going to be great! Good job!!!!
I like how I can feel what you are saying. Your use of italics and punctuation really travels across the page and allows the reader to understand exactly what you, the writer, is trying to portray!
ReplyDeleteI think that your introduction has a lot of characters in it.
It sounds like your introduction has a lot of anger in it. It would be refreshing to see that there is some resolution or softness to some of your stories. Just a thought.
Your introduction was a little short. You also used a lot of quotations. A way to revise this would be to take out some of the quotations and paraphrase so you can still get the information out.
What if you tried separate the paragraphs a little more? Just from looking at it it looks a little busy. I think that if you separated the paragraphs and made them smaller then it would be easier to read.
Hey Julie! The direction you chose to take your storybook is really interesting. I like the fact that the introduction lets the reader know exactly why the character Rama was created by the God Vishnu. The picture you decided to use on the home page is the stereotypical blue print design which follows the whole theme of your project perfectly. I'm sure you did this on purpose and it was genius. The only thing I would change about your storybook would be to add a little more color. The webpage seems a little plain for being the blueprint of Rama.
ReplyDeleteAn idea you could incorporate into your storybook is to work on your webpage each week and with each new post you make, you build your site a little more. So by the end of the semester you would have a flawless webpage that's colorful and engaging to the audience. It would be cool to see your storybook build with each passing week.
Build as in add more color and stuff.
DeleteHi Julie, great job so far. I am not experienced enough at writing, as of yet, to be able to put my finger on the reason why, but some people just write in a very smooth way. You seem to be one of those people.
ReplyDeleteNot sure if the myths overlap in the way you describe them but, I sure hope that they do. I like the way you break-down the story to something basic and simple. Making this material easy is not easy.
I like how you anthropomorphize the god Indra by having mutter under his breath and think about something before he speaks. I could easily picture the scene in my mind.
Something I noticed in another story, what if you break outside the confines of the story and take the story in a totally different direction? I have been playing with that idea and found it makes it easier to be creative about my next step.
Finally, your ending was great. It left enough to the imagination to keep me coming back and told enough story to make me want to come back.
Hi Julie! Your introduction was put together really well. It was easy to follow and entertaining. The introduction was very interesting to read. I wanted to read more of your story. I also loved the design of your storybook and I liked the picture you used. It really helped complete the design. Vishnu seems like an all powerful character. It would be interesting to see him have a weakness. Might be a big plot twist. I do like that your story is similar to the original. That makes your intro much easier to follow and understand. However I thought there were too many quotations as well. Made the intro a bit choppy instead of fluid. I would also like to see your intro split into smaller and more concise paragraphs. Overall I think you did you did a great job with your intro and I look forward to reading your stories this semester.
ReplyDeleteJulie, first things first your website for your storybook is beautifully organized! The colors are great and the flow between pages is very nice. Your introduction flowed well and the writing was clear. I liked your descriptions of the characters that will be present throughout your storybook. One thing I was unsure about was the three periods in your second paragraph, I know they were included for dramatic affect. Sometimes using three periods like that in a story is viewed as informal which is fine, I just did not know if you were aiming for a more formal writing style! Overall your introduction was great at setting the scene for your stories to come this semester.
ReplyDeleteThe introduction is enticing and grabbed my attention right from the beginning. I think you captured the frustration of the gods well, but if you wanted to expand their arguing you could. Since this is your introduction I do not think it is necessary to do so. It has the right amount of intrigue to make me want to read more. Good job!
ReplyDeleteIs it possible to make the image of Rama larger to line up with the complete length of the introduction? It is placed at the bottom of the introduction, but might look better enlarged or centered if possible. I enjoy the flow of your site. I think the blueprint wallpaper is a stellar touch. I think the spacing is off on the very last paragraph when you begin with “As the council” and should be spaced down one line. Outside of those little things, I think the introduction is great and look forward to reading the rest of your storybook!
Color balance with the background of your site is quite attractive, and your use of comedic timing adds character to the story, making your exposition very compelling, especially in regards to Vishnu's larger-than-life demeanor and the displeasure of Brahma among the gods.
ReplyDeleteConsider splitting up and/or rewriting some aspects of the first two paragraphs, and making a more distinct split between the last two. It will help with making the details of the plot more easily consumable. Also go over your parentheses, as the places they are used can also be rectified with semicolons or commas, so as not to draw attention to structure itself, unless that is part of your plan.
I was left wondering what that previous experience with a demon and Vishnu had to do with the conflict of this story, and was left wanting some background details as to how Vishnu defeated the demon. This could help make a smooth bridge into Indra's inquiry on how Vishnu would go about defeating Ravana and make the story flow even better.
Overall, I'm enjoying your work here, so far. There's great character in your introduction and you've teased my imagination on how this blueprint approach works. Some minor touch-up here and there, and it'll be perfect. Excellent work, here.
Hello stranger :^).
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I really like the layout of your site! It's pretty fancy and probably the most aesthetic one I've seen in both classes :). The colors are nice, too. I did notice that you have more sections on your page, but I don't see them listed by the introduction at the top. If I scroll over the blank area by introduction, "the little details" and "author" do show up. Just wanted to tell you in case that was a mistake!
I really liked the introduction! It caught my interest and I enjoyed this line: "...it seems that age does not always spark wisdom". I think it contributes to to Brahma really well and it is pretty applicable to real life, as well. I'd like to know more about Ravana based off what you've told us! I'm curious about how powerful he is, considering his feats and how destructive he's been to make others get involved with dealing with him. I'm excited to see what kind of person Rama is and what journey he goes on!
Good job, cousin B-)
Wow I love what you have done with your storybook! What a creative idea. I like the design of your blog as well, but I would suggest that you make links to your stories in the top bar of your webpage so it is less confusing. I had a hard time finding your first story until I scrolled all the way down. You do a really fantastic job setting up your introduction. It really captured my attention and you did a wonderful job keeping the names of the gods straight and incorporating their names into the story. Maybe you could add in a sort of index for the readers to keep all of the names straight if you want to edit some more. I also really enjoyed reading your first story. Your style of writing is really easy to follow and entertaining. Your story reminded me a little bit of Hercules and how it is set up with the sassy ladies narrating what the gods are always doing.
ReplyDeleteHi Julie! I really enjoyed your first story, you made it very easy to read due to the narration and the comical dialogue. This story is very imaginative, for me it is hard to just make up dialogue but you did it perfectly. This definitely gives the reader a different perspective on the story. My favorite part was, "“Okay, Vishnu!” Indra interrupted. “You will be born as Rama, son of Dasharatha and Kaushalya.”
ReplyDeleteVishnu pondered for a moment. “Ooh, one last thing! Can we make my skin blue again for this avatar too? It’s a very fitting color, and I could wield a bow! I’d look like one of those James Cameron blue people—"
These dialogue sections are great. They really give the reader a picture of how the character behaves and interact with other characters. Definitely make sure to include this type of dialogue in the next additions. Overall I really enjoyed this story, keep it up!
Hi, Julie!! Your Storybook is awesome! I really like how you are making a new and creative story out of the traditional elements and characters. It's cool to see how you are using the terms and traditions that we've learned in this course in your story. This really feels and reads like something that would have been included in one of our reading options. I also really like the different pictures and background that you used. I really can't think of any editing tips for you, everything was spot on. Again, great story- and I look forward to keeping up with your storybook!!
ReplyDeleteHey Julie, I'm a really big fan of your storybook. I could just keep reading it all day! I think you have done a terrific job of taking what you have learned in this course and using that to create your own story. It is almost like I am reading something that we would have been assigned. What most impressed me is the way you were able to create such interesting dialogue to go with your story. It is not easy to do, but you were able to use your imagination and create a very cool story!
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I'd like to say that I liked how you were able to align your website with the storybook. As an audience, you can really get the idea that the Hindu gods will be restructuring and building up the life of Rama. I was expecting anything to happen, for blue prints can change at any moment based on the creator or architect. I really like how you split your story into chapters and provided a very detailed introduction. The introduction really gave the reader the opportunity to conceptualize the possible framework of the blueprints that are being drawn out. Chapter 1 was very entertaining. It was almost as though the council of gods were playing a board game or card game. I like the comical aspects that you added. I like how you are approaching the stories and are turning them into parodies. I'm really looking forward to the next story post for Chapter 2.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your stories. I liked how all the Gods had to figure out how to stop Ravana, The description of the thought process of the Gods was super interesting. You do not get to see that side of them in some of the original stories. The details you add give them human characteristics and they are more relatable to the reader. The intro helped give the reader details on how the Gods start coming up with blueprints for Rama. This helped set the tone for the next story. With all the details of the blueprints Rama was ready to be created. I enjoyed how much fun Vishnu was having designing his future host. He wanted everything to be perfect. He even chose details of hair and skin color. I enjoyed this backstory for Rama. Overall this was a very good story and was a good read. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI like how jump in and just simplify the process of being an avatar of Vishnu. Wait a minute, we now have a council meeting that we will hold on how to manipulate humanity. I am enjoying the laid back speech of the Gods as they discuss how to go about picking a person to have the chosen child. It was also fun to imagine Vishnu getting excited about what his name will be. Oh that is hilarious making the reference to James Cameron.
ReplyDeleteI have heard that Hanuman is the avatar of Shiva. What if the two of them were old friends and sharing past experiences they had on earth together or perhaps they are not getting along as well as they used to but still have each other’s back? He seemed to have a powerful and interesting role. Also, he didn’t seem to follow along with the plan in the Rama story. Almost like he had the authority to do something contrary to what many would have done in that situation.
What if you wrote out a little blurb on your comment wall? I don’t know if this was just me but I was unable to read a lot of the words on the left side of the page of your intro for some reason? Wow, I love how your intro talks about how Rama was designed by the gods to defeat Ravana. I also really enjoyed the gods bickering because of the boon that Brahma granted Ravana and how he didn’t think it was a big deal. The storyline is very interesting to me. I never imagined all the gods sitting around trying to figure out what to do with Ravana. I really like it though! One thing I noticed was in Little Details in the first paragraph the gods are deciding the fate of Rama. However, a couple of paragraphs later Vishnu asks if his name can be Rama? The personality you gave Vishnu is kind of humorous since he is not much like the calm and composed Rama character we know. Overall great story!
ReplyDeleteWow, I love the setup of your storybook. It’s super easy to follow, and it looks very professional! My favorite part of your stories is how there’s dialogue, but also an explanation either before or after someone speaks. I feel like you balanced out internal thoughts with the actual events very well. I did wonder a bit about where your introduction was even thought I did love the setup of the storybook. What if you had the introduction as a separate tab on your homepage? I really enjoyed reading your stories, and how it was broken into chapters. That was intricate element about your entire storybook, and stories! You did a really great job in taking what you learned, and putting your own little uniqueness on it! Great work! I look forward to reading more of your storybook in the future. This was one of the best storybooks I have encountered.
ReplyDeleteHey Julie!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love your storybook! I like how you really took to the theme of your title with the blueprint and incorporated that with the visuals of your storybook. Your introduction was also really good and I like how you set the tone for the upcoming stories. Even though I know that your storybook highlights the story of Rama, it was nice to see the recreation of the original story in your own way. I like how you incorporated dialogue into the story and brought a unique personality to each of the characters. While I understand the approach you are taking with your storybook, it would be interesting to see the inspiration behind writing the story in the Author's Note. Overall, however, I think you did a great job and I'm excited to read your next couple of stories!
The idea of gods and other celestial beings coexisting as mortal avatars among regular human beings has definitely been the most intriguing part of the Indian epics to me so far, so I love how your storybook focuses on a peek behind the curtain at all of that. The way you depict these gods is a ton of fun, too: I love how you’ve given all of them colorful personalities that clash just enough to keep things interesting.
ReplyDeleteMoving on to the stories themselves, your parody approach made me laugh out loud more than once (especially when Vishnu was cherry-picking flattering qualities for himself in Rama), and the personalities you gave the gods worked perfectly for that. I’m also a huge fan of how you’ve interpreted the process of planning Vishnu’s avatar and the story of Rama’s life, like a bunch of executives and creative types putting their heads together to develop and shoot a movie. Vishnu’s insistence on getting to play the perfect knight in shining armor fits so perfectly with how tediously perfect Rama ends up being, too, haha.
Insanely awesome job with this. I look forward to checking back in for future chapters!
Wow! First off I love the layout of your blog. It fits perfectly into your blueprint title. I really like how in your introduction you add a bit of sass about how the other gods wish Brahma would stop granting boons to rakshasas! It was a fun little element that really added a strong voice to the story. I was so happy to see this fun voice continue into your other stories. I loved the personalities you gave the gods. I always saw them serious types, but the humor you put in this made me change my tune. I much prefer your version of the Gods.
ReplyDeleteOverall, I really enjoyed the theme to your storybook. The idea of Rama's life being predestined or planned is something that I feel fits right into the original Indian epics. Within you stories you did a good job of incorporating dialogue into your stories! It really added a bigger personality to your characters and helped the story flow!
Really great job and I can't wait to check back in to read more!
Hey Julie!
ReplyDeleteI loved the continuation of your storybook, especially how you literally took off from the end of the introduction into "The Little Details" story. I honestly love how the various Gods of the council are so casual. You make them seem very relatable and add that modern-esque aspect to the story. I also really like how you make Vishnu sound like that sassy, fun character. The way I see this story, it sounds like a "Create-Your-Own-Story" tale because of the Council and how they are essentially constructing the future of Rama, Sita, and Lakshmana. I like how you really bring in that personal element to your story so that the readers are able to connect to the characters. The dialogue is especially good. Keep up the awesome work! I'm excited to read the rest!
Hey Julie! I had to come back to read more of your stories because your storybook is seriously so cool! So, just a little side note for this story, there is actually an Indian movie called Hum Saath Saath Hain that is very similar to the Ramayana. It doesn't really have anything to do with the actual characters but it kinda follows the plot of Kaikeyi being poisoned by Manthara to force Dasharatha into exiling Rama. It is of different characters and the story follows one of a family but if you liked this story, I think you would enjoy that movie! I like how you go into details for the various subplots that take place in the Ramayana, because I'm sure that must have taken some serious work to create. I think it really brings to life the idea of the blueprint because everything is being planned even before Vishnu is reincarnated.
ReplyDeleteHey, Julie! It's been about a month since I last read your storybook. I can honestly say that I think it's gotten even better! This is definitely one of the coolest storybooks in the class! Your portrayal of the Gods is just really awesome, i love how you were able to do that. I saw a previous comment that said this is like a "Create-Your-Own-Story" tale, and I would have to agree with that. That is such a unique and awesome aspect of your storybook. With the God's creating the story, it makes it that much more readable for this whole class. It is always a join to read a story involving Rama, Sita, and others from the Ramayana. Everybody has their own ways of incorporating them into their stories. Your story was a great example of what I just mentioned. The way you were to portray Rama was fantastic, as you really creating something new and unique that worked well!
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